Intimacy Building Don’t Lose Intimacy In Your Relationship
Something that we all seem to want at core is intimacy. That feeling of close connection with another or others. It is a basic need that drives us to get into relationship or marriage. Yet after we get into a relationship we find that intimacy can slip from our grasp and out of our love life.
Intimacy then can become elusive over time in our relationships. It can even get to the point where we miss it so much we have an affair or leave our mate altogether. If we aren’t getting it from the person we’re with, we feel we have to search for it from another.
We all have intimacy needs. These are hardwired into our systems. Men and women have different approaches to getting their intimacy needs met. You’ve heard the saying “Women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex.” This saying points to an underlying theme about sex in relationships.
For men, sex usually equals intimacy. When men feel the need for closeness and connection, they often interpret is as a desire for sex. After sex, they will often withdraw for a while back into themselves.
Women generally have a broader intimacy structure. They enjoy sexual intimacy, and they can also get their intimacy needs met non sexually. Women can feel intimate through verbal communication, as well as physical closeness.
You don’t have intimacy forever just because you felt it once with your mate. You have to keep working on it. Sex can’t be your only method for experiencing intimacy. Familiarity and taking each other for granted can kill off intimacy.
Verbal communication can also be a powerful way to experience intimacy, but it isn’t in the talking. We all know you can talk with someone and feel no intimacy whatsoever. Intimacy in communication comes from feeling heard and understood by your lover, accepted and not judged, among other things.
Your relationship doesn’t have to lose intimacy over time. By shifting your behavior some you can begin to have more of it every day just from communicating and listening to your mate from the heart. When we feel heard and understood by our mate, rather than taken for granted, that is one simple way to have more intimacy every day.
