Jitters And Jerks; How To Handle Both

Those of us who use internet dating know its many advantages. Thousands of available singles, all at the touch of a mouse click await your inspection. Granted when that first in person meeting comes along you’re bound to be nervous, but hey, you’ve done this before, and you have your nerves firmly in hand. But what about your date?

The thing about someone being overly nervous is that it gets in the way of communication. Since a first date is all about getting to better know someone, it stands to reason that those nerves may put a damper on that. Your date may very well be excited about finally meeting you, but it’s obvious that he or she is finding the whole thing just a tad overwhelming.

My approach to this is always direct: very kindly, but directly, tell the other person that you can tell they’re nervous and that you are too (even if you’re not, this is a kind opportunity to tell a little white lie) but that you should both just shrug those feelings aside and try to lighten up and have fun. Then lead by example.

With a bit of luck your date will follow suit and the date will progress as it should. What if your date doesn’t follow your lead? You can do only so much. After all, it’s a date not a therapy session. If your date simply doesn’t warm up there’s no reason to be rude, but you might want to consider making it an early night. It’s possible that your date is always reserved. It’s also possible that he or she needs to ease into things and your second date will be much better.

Great, you both have your nerves under control and you’re actually talking like normal people. Unfortunately an hour into your date you’ve come to the conclusion that this guy or gal is not just a bit of a jerk, oh no, he or she is a TOTAL jerk. What do you do now?

It’s all a bit mysterious. You know he works with animals and he’s told you lots of stories about his nieces and nephews who love him to pieces, but now that you’ve actually laid eyes on him and have seen the way he treats random strangers; yeah, he’s a jerk. While his emails were sweet and even charming, the way he’s snapping at the waitress and the guy who accidentally bumped into his chair are downright embarrassing.

This is one of those things that you can’t possibly predict from online communication. Sadly, the anger that is currently being directed at others could just as easily be directed at you in the future, and that’s a chance that is just too unsafe to take.

Now this may sound a bit callous but here’s the thing. Dating someone with anger issues is like going to the pet store and buying a puppy or a kitten knowing that it’s already sick. Sure, you can get a healthy one that may develop issues down the road, but at the very least you should shop around until you find the healthiest one possible.

This article was written by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of professional dating articles.