The Interesting History of Divorce
About 40 years ago, getting a divorce was considered something so terrible; people whispered it like the name of a disease. “She’s getting divorced” was a terrible and hopeless thing to happen similar to “she has a terminal illness.”" It’s almost as if the individual were to enunciate it, they too might suffer a similar appalling fate.
Approximately half of all American marriages today end up in divorce. It is pretty much expected that 50% of marriages will end in divorce. While divorce is still a sad thing that breaks up homes, it’s so common place that it no longer carries the same fearful stigma. For some divorcees, separating from their partners provides much more happiness than staying together. With today’s feminism movement, women work as much as men. A woman’s independence and ability to support herself make it possible for her to make her own decisions, and she no longer has to stay with a man if she’s not happy.
Ironically, the presence of so many married women in the workplace has also increased the amount of romance in the office. Extramarital affairs often occur in situations where one spouse is frequently at work and the other at home. Back in the 1950s many women had to learn to tolerate a cheating husband or become homeless, but the times have changed. Many office romances involve married women unhappy with their life at home. They are either getting involved in these relationships because they are missing something in their personal life, or just for the thrill of being able to do it.
Many years ago, the majority of working women were unmarried. After they were married, it was unusual to continue working outside the home. Being involved with other men is a reason few women used to break up their marriages. Homemakers did not have the opportunity to work and bond with other men than their husbands. The whole stereotype of the older husband running away with the young secretary stems from this. Older women tended to get married and become housewives so secretaries were typically younger. The women who might lead men to stray were younger and unmarried.
Conversely, happy husbands do not have to take a cheating wife and they are free to initiate the divorce without having to worry about who will support this woman in the future. Chances is are she is educated and will be able to take care of herself. In a relationship of equals, the husband will not have to pay alimony, and this gives him the freedom to go off on his own as well.
Even though divorce is more common and accepted, it can be very hard and traumatic. There may not always be consensus between the married couple as to when the relationship has broken up. Additionally when there are children involved, custody battles ensue and the lives of the children change. Confused are they because they always have to sleep in a different house on every different night.
The concept of spouses separating for their own happiness sometimes projects onto the children that they are not that important or that the divorce is their fault. Family counseling is good in that it allows everyone to understand that the decisions being made are to benefit the future of the family as a whole.
